


Broken Things

by i_will_always_find_you



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 05:17:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3798157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_will_always_find_you/pseuds/i_will_always_find_you
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As she tried to get a hold of herself, she couldn’t help but notice the common theme - Oliver. She knew what tomorrow would bring and that this may be her only chance to tell him how she really felt. But was it worth it? Was it worth the pain she would feel tomorrow knowing that he felt the same way? He had already agreed to take over for Ra’s, there was no backing out now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Things

**Author's Note:**

> I was obviously obsessively thinking about tomorrow night’s episode and this just kind of poured out of me. Felicity’s POV for a change.

She paced back and forth outside his door, her heart hammering in her chest. Part of her wanted to go in and tell him how she felt, the other part of her wanted to curl up in a ball and tune out the world. As she continued to pace, snapshots from the last few years flashed in front of her eyes. Oliver bleeding out in the back of her car, revealing who he was. Oliver rescuing her from the landmines on the island. Walking in on Oliver and Isabel in Russia and her heart aching. Oliver being jealous of Barry. Going on a date with Oliver only to be blown up. Oliver kissing her. Oliver telling her he loved her. Oliver yelling at her. Oliver, Oliver, Oliver.

As she tried to get a hold of herself, she couldn’t help but notice the common theme - Oliver. She knew what tomorrow would bring and that this may be her only chance to tell him how she really felt. But was it worth it? Was it worth the pain she would feel tomorrow knowing that he felt the same way? He had already agreed to take over for Ra’s, there was no backing out now.

She sighed deeply knowing her decision had already been made. _Pain tomorrow, then_ she whispered to herself before raising her hand to knock on the door to his room.

“Oliver?” she said gently.

He turned around to look at her standing in the doorway. Since they were in Nanda Parbat and electricity wasn’t exactly something the League of Assassins felt was necessary, the room was filled with candles. The glow from the flames behind his head made it look like he he was wearing a small halo. She couldn’t help but smile.

“I wanted to come see you before tomorrow,” she said, still standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“Come sit,” he said, pointing towards the pile of cushions across from him. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor. While she was wondering if he had just been sitting in here staring at the wall, she realized that that was probably exactly what he had been doing.

She fidgeted, unable to sit down. She swallowed and then said, “You can’t go through with this.”

“I have to,” he responded without emotion.

“No you don’t. We’ll figure something out.”

“There’s nothing left to figure out, Felicity. I made a deal, a deal that I can’t step away from. They healed Thea and in return I will take over for Ra’s. It’s done.”

She didn’t respond for a moment as she made her way across the room to sit down in front of him. She automatically reached for his hands. She realized what she had done, but as she tried to pull her hands back, Oliver held on tightly.

“Oliver…if you go through with this -”

“I know,” he interrupted her. “I know.”

“No! You don’t!” She retorted, raising her voice. She couldn’t help it. Suddenly she was standing again, pacing, the words pouring out of her. “You don’t know what it’s been like for me the past few days! The past few months! Hell, the past few years!”

“You think I don’t know?” he responded quietly.

“You haven’t a clue, Oliver Queen! You - you came into my life and filled this - this part of me I didn’t even know I was missing! I didn’t know I wasn’t happy, I didn’t know I was so lonely! And you and Digg - you and Digg fixed everything. You made my life worth living, you put what I was great at to use. You gave me purpose. You gave me a life!”

He stared at her, not saying a word. She continued.

“And then I fell for you. Of course I fell for you. How could I not? You were out there saving the world and I was helping you, spending all of my time with you. And when I realized you  _maybe_ felt the same way about me, I couldn’t help it - I started picturing this life we would have together. This ridiculous, happy, crime-fighting filled, life. And before it had even started, you were telling me you could never be with me even though you loved me. It wasn’t fair. None of this is fair!”

“Felicity -”

“No. Let me finish. Please let me finish.”

“Okay,” he said, nodding at her, “I won’t interrupt again.”

“And then I went out there and tried to be happy. And Ray, Ray is great, Oliver. Ray is kind, and sweet, and funny, and so, so smart. And he loves me. Did you know he told me that he loved me?”

Oliver, keeping his promise, didn’t respond but merely shook his head.

“You see though, even though Ray is all of those things, even though he loves me and wants to be with me, it’s you that I love, Oliver. It’s always and will forever, be  _you_.”

She looked at him, staring at his face, trying to memorize the way he was looking at her in this moment.

“And I’ve been kidding myself these past few months. I’ve been trying to let you go and move on, but I haven’t. Not really. And then you go and do this stupid thing and agree to take over the League of Assassins…and now, now we will never -”

“Be together,” he finished for her. “I know what I am giving up. I know what I am sacrificing. But I had to do it for Thea. And I would have done it for you, too. Everything I did, everything that happened, has led me right here, to this moment.”

He reached for her and she sat back down in front of him. He took off her glasses, placing them on the floor beside him. He looked at her the way one looks at broken things longing to be fixed.

“The ceremony is tomorrow. We still have this one night,” he whispered to her, leaning in. He kissed her gently on one cheek, then the other. Then he kissed her nose, and that wrinkly spot between her eyebrows. Her forehead, her ears, right along her hairline.

Her breathing was growing quicker and deeper, and she pulled away, looking at him.

“Is this a good idea?” she asked him.

“No. But I love you. And you love me. And right now, that’s all that matters.” And then she leaned in and kissed him right back.


End file.
